An old journal entry

I was reading through parts of my last four years of journaling and came across an entry that surprised me somewhat.  At first, I thought that it had been written a few months ahead of my first poem, "Traitorous Heart," but in actuality, it was two years and several months earlier.  The text is a little different in parts, but it is virtually the same cry to God.  I thought I'd share it with you. (it starts with a Psalm that inspired the prayer)

"May 15th, 2007

Praise the Lord, O my soul;
   all my inmost being, praise His holy name.
Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not His benefits -
Who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases,
Who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you
   with love and compassion.,
Who satisfies your desires with good things, so that your
   youth is renewed like the eagles.

Psalm 103: 1-5


   My desires are so dark and my diseases so deadly, so aweful, yet You can heal me and satisfy my with Your good things.  Its hard to believe sometimes (most of the time!) that I could possibly be worth Your attention, even in the smallest part.  It is only by Your hand that one such as I could be saved from the destruction to which I so quickly run.
   Lord, save me from myself!  I want not the sick things in my heart, but to fly free of these bonds; this slavery of my soul.  Let me live only that I might serve You and live in Your peace.
   Be Thou my soul's satisfaction.  Be Thou my rest and perfect peace, even amidst the deadly gale of my heart.   I am Yours, save me! "